Back Again | I Am Totally Rubbish!

WARNING : word vom. 

Hello world, malady or one person, being my boyfriend, reading this post… (embarrassed face)

I haven’t posted in well, months. I know, dreams and aspirations of writing, and blogging bla bla – i’m totally crap. But I’m sat on my day off (because btw, I got that job that I went for) and I just had the urge to flip out my laptop and just type. I enjoy that feeling.

Quite a lot has gone on since I last wrote on here. Quite soon after my last post, my wonderful, sweet Grandpa passed away. He hadn’t been well for a while, and although we knew it would happen at some point, it still felt so unexpected. It’s not been easy, and although this may seem strange, it still doesn’t feel like it’s happened. I mean, I know he isn’t here anymore, but that feeling of him going still hasn’t quite hit me, I think? Or if it has i’m a horrible person because I haven’t cried an awful lot, which is bizarre for me considering i’m an emotional person. Everything since then has been a bit of a whirl wind. I know theres never a perfect time for anything, but typically I got the call that I had got the job literally an hour after he passed away. I was a bit of an emotional mess. So had to grit my teeth whilst I spoke to my very new boss, and explain what had just happened and that I was struggling to take any information in. Finding out your Grandpa has died, and crying down the phone to your new, not even boss yet. It was an emotional day to say the least.

My anxiety has got a lot better since working there. I still have bad days but there more like once a week then 7 days a week. I didn’t think I would make it through a month but it’s now almost been 5 months. So I suppose I should feel proud of myself. May seem like a stupid thing to feel proud of, but for me it was a big step. Thats one thing i’m willing to admit.

Anyway, the perks of this job, is that I finally have a little bit of money to treat myself. Does that make me sound selfish!? Working for myself, I never had a steady income, so I must admit, it is nice. I am trying to save as well, as my boyfriend and I are desperate to move out. But it’s so hard. I saved what I could for the 4 months I have been there – and it all went on a holiday! So house fund is now at zero. I could save more each month, but if I did I would probably be miserable and left with nothing to get me through the month. But i’m a trier, so will figure it out.

I have also just got back from Turkey. My boyfriend and I went for a week, we had such a lovely time just the two of us. It’s hard to find proper time alone when you both still live at home, which at times ca be slightly frustrating, if you get what I mean… It was crazily hot, but all in all a gorgeous holiday. Apart from hearing about the horrific events in Tunisia – how can there be so much hate in the world? It’s terrible.



Heres a few snaps, the bottom one is my current favourite outfit. Dress by H&M and shoes Oasis . The outfit feels so nice and chic. Its summery – and I am totally in love with the stripes!